Writings

A Sub’s Lament

Dusty sat there staring at the Personals column on Fetlife. It was so depressing trying to find a new Dom. This would be the third time in less than six months that she had been in this situation. Why is it so damn hard to find a good Dom?” she wondered.

She had left her first Dom, Sir T. after two months of hell. His idea of a D/s relationship was having a human punching bag. It had started off nice, but went bad very quickly. He was abusive, brutal and cruel. It wasn’t that Dusty didn’t want spanked or tied up, but it was the way he did everything so brutally. Sir T. thought nothing of slamming her against the wall or ignoring her when she tried to use the safe word. When their time together was over, there wasn’t even a hint of caring or concern. He’d split her lip twice and once she was so bruised that she couldn’t work. Dusty tried talking to him and he beat her for being ‘disobedient’. She tried to tell him it was over and he stalked her for a week. Dusty spent three days in hospital recovering from the beating he gave her which ended in his arrest.

It had taken ages for her to work up the courage to go to one of the local munches. Dusty was scared that she’d run into Sir T. It had been nerve wracking, but she got her friend to go with her. Dusty didn’t find anyone that night, but it was easier to go to the next munch. Two Saturdays later, she met Sir X, who seemed to be an interesting man. They went out a couple of times and decided to give it a try. This time, things went better. Dusty began to enjoy the relationship and felt like this might be the right Dom for her.

They had a play date set up and she met him at the hotel. Dusty came out of the bathroom from changing into her corset, hold up stockings, lacy panties and 4 inch heels to find him sitting on the bed crying. After asking him what was wrong, she discovered that he really was a subbie, just like her, and his last mistress had told him that he should try being a switch. It just wasn’t working and he was so sorry. After Dusty changed back into her street clothes, they spent the rest of the evening curled up together watching chick flics and commiserating. When they left the hotel, they promised to keep in touch about searching for the right partner.

Dusty finally posted her ad. Next to a thumbnail picture of her in a corset it said, “Subbie looking for a Dom willing to be part of a consensual arrangement. Burned after a bad relationship, I’m looking for someone I can trust and willing to explore a partnership with mutual respect”. She hit the send button and immediately wanted to erase it. “It should say, whip me, spank me, fuck me, but treat me nice!” she thought. Dusty shut down her computer and went to bed.

 

 

Dusty and Janie were walking around the munch watching the various people in the room. They’d already been invited to the play party that night, but it was still nice to check people out in their ‘street clothes’ so to speak.

“See anyone you like?” Janie asked Dusty as they headed to Janie’s car.

“One or two. Both had Dom written all over them, which I guess should be good, but scares the hell out of me,” said Dusty.

“Well, maybe you just need to quit the whole BDSM scene for a while,” Janie offered.

“No. I’ll find a Dom. I just need to look more carefully,” said Dusty. “It took me long enough to figure out what I wanted, and I’m not giving up because of a few fuck ups.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you at the Rosy Thorn tonight then,” said Janie as they pulled up in front of Dusty’s apartment. Dusty got out and headed into her apartment.

 

 

After dropping her keys in the bowl by the door, Dusty headed for the shower. She figured it would take at least an hour to get ready. The short leather skirt, fishnet stockings and a peasant blouse with a crimson waist cinch was laid out on the bed. Her knee high leather pirate boots were on the floor next to the bed. Damp from the shower, she got dressed quickly. Her hair still damp began to curl. Dusty use to bemoan her curly red hair, but as it got longer it became more manageable. Once she was dressed, she swept it up into a hair clip. A bit of makeup on her face and she was ready. Now all she had to do was wait for Janie.

 

Janie honked twice before Dusty heard it. She grabbed her handbag and headed for the door. Once she got into the car she saw that Janie had gone for the vanilla look. Subdued makeup, nice blouse and business skirt with just a hint of lace and skin showing at all the right points. Her blonde hair was swept up in a French twist showing off her long neck. It made Dusty feel almost trashy in comparison.

“Damn, How do you do that?” she asked Janie as the car pulled into traffic.

“I don’t know. I just grab bits out of the closet,” Janie admitted. Janie could make a muumuu look good.

They drove in silence for five minutes. When they got to the club, they checked their makeup in the rear view mirror and then headed inside. It was busy tonight and the two safeties in the outer lobby looked like they had their hands full.

“Hey, listen to me guy, if it isn’t safe, sane and consensual, it isn’t a relationship. It’s just abuse or cruelty,” said Jake, one of safeties on duty. He was talking to some sort of newsie trying to get an article for the local paper. After the incident a block away last month, the club had been rather popular.

Janie and Dusty worked their way to the bar for a drink. They finally ordered and then perched on stools to watch the room. It was a real circus tonight. All kinds of people milled about. Janie pointed to a guy screaming at Dirk, another safety, because Dirk had confiscated his camera. The guy went to hit Dirk and the next thing anyone knew, the guy was being walked out of the club. There were cheers as he left.

“Oh look at that one!” said Janie as she pointed.

“Huh? Which one?” asked Dusty.

“The one with the velvet smoking jacket on,” said Janie. “He’s dreamy.”

“No, he just looks creepy,” said Dusty.

“Well, I’m gonna go mingle. See ya later,” said Janie as she slid off the stool and headed into the inner part of the club known as the Dungeon.

Dusty waved her off and took another sip of her drink. She looked around the room, but saw no one that interested her.

“Hello beautiful,” said a deep voice behind her.

Dusty started to turn and face the voice, but his hands on her shoulders stopped her. They were warm and firm.

“Hello, May I turn and see who I’m talking to?” Dusty asked.

“No, not yet. I take it you’re here alone?” he asked.

“Yes,” Dusty replied. She knew he was asking if she had a Dom. She tried to look around and see if she could catch his reflection in a bar mirror.

“I know you’re curious, but I want you to stop trying to see who I am. Do you understand?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. A shiver ran down her spine. That voice. It was making her melt. She waited.

“Would I be right in surmising that you are without a Master?” the voice asked.

“Yes,” Dusty said. Duh!” she thought.

“Would you happen to have a profile on Fetlife under the name CelticRed?” he asked.

Dusty gasped. “Yyes,” she stuttered.

“Good. I saw that you were looking for a new Dom. I had planned to contact you. However, to my surprise I saw you sitting here and couldn’t resist talking to you in person,” he said. His lips were next to her ear, and she could feel his breath on her skin.

“Oh, Okay,” she answered, not knowing what to say. Her brain had fled and she felt all she had was cotton between her ears.

“Have you found anyone suitable?” the voice asked.

“No, I haven’t. I… I’ve been a bit shy about it,” said Dusty. “Scared shitless!” she thought.

“Well, I am looking for a sub who wants to please her master. One who understands the power dynamics of a D/s relationship. Do you think you could manage that? Or, learn how to please a master who was willing to show you the steps to this dance?” the voice asked.

“I’d be willing to learn. I’ve already had a horrid Dom, and to be honest I never want to experience that again,” she said. “I want trust. I want a relationship that satisfies both of us and does so with some respect for who the other one is as a person. I want someone who understands what I need,” she finished.

“Well then, if you’d like to see how we’d work together, I’d be interested, he said.

“I… I think I’d like to give it a try,” Dusty said.

He cleared his throat behind her and then was silent. The hands on her shoulders grew heavier.

“I’d like to try a relationship Sir,” Dusty said when she realized that the relationship had already begun.

“Good. You may turn around now,” he said.

Dusty slid off the stool and turned to look at him. He was slightly taller than she was even in the heeled boots. His shirt was pale blue and tucked into a pair of faded blue jeans. Brown curly hair cut short with gray at the temples framed a handsome but nondescript face. A soft close cropped beard framed his face. His eyes were gray and when she met their gaze, she was amazed at the kindness she saw there.

“Hello Sir,” Dusty said.

“Hello, and what am I to call my little one?” he asked.

“Sir may call me whatever he wants, but my name is Dusty,” she said.

“Well Dusty, shall we go see the sights?” he asked as he took her arm in his.

“Yes Sir,” she answered. “Oh god let this be a good situation!” she thought. While her mind worried over her decision as they walked into the Dungeon, her body had already made up it’s mind. Her panties were soaked with excitement and her nipples were hard under her blouse.

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