I finished the last book. It was a train wreck. The bad guy who was jealous gets caught, Ana and Christian iron out all of his emotional issues, (sorta) and the two of them live happily ever after in a beautiful house, yada-yada-yada.
Now, looking back, I noticed a few things. First off, Ana always ended up undressed or at least half dressed during sex. Christian on the other hand, ‘unzipped, unbuttoned, undid his pants’. He never undressed! 3/4ths of the time, he literally just unzipped. There is even a note made of how quickly he got dressed. The ‘all he had to do was zip up’ type of comment.
Now guys, Tell me honestly… How many times have you just had a quickie where you just unzipped and when you were finished packed everything away and NO ONE noticed? Better yet, how many times have you had a good juicy fuck thru the opening in your jeans and then just zipped up and had NO ONE notice?
Sorry, my brain does the permutations.
- Unless he’s hung like a hamster, the zip, and/or the zipper tab is going to rub.
- boxers and jeans are going to put one hell of a crimp in your style and blood flow, let alone ability to get things where you want them. Can you say constriction? Don’t forget he uses a condom for most of the books. Condoms… zipper teeth…. Am I the only one who sees an issue here?
- Juices/sweat/cum. Oh boy! If your girlfriend/lover sits across your lap without panties, her juices are going to get on your jeans/undies/sweatpants/dress trousers. When she comes, those juices are going to run down….. When you come, semen and sperm are going to drip everywhere. Oh, and if you wear a condom, it is going to pool at the base of your cock soaking your underwear. Oh, and don’t forget your balls. They get sweaty. So, that is going to pool in the crotch of your jeans too.
- Sex ISN’T clean. It is sweaty, sticky and juicy!
So, I guess what I’m trying to point out is here is this guy who’s just fucked his girlfriend in their car, boat, boardroom, office, and all he does is unzip. So, you know all that fabric is right there up against her pussy. They even mention how the jeans push against her sex… Yet NO ONE says “hey, your pants are wet. Or mentions the fact that it looks like he just spilled something all over his jeans. Nor does he mention the fact that the last bit of cum has stuck everything together like super glue and has left one hell of a stain on his jeans/trousers. No one mentions that he smells like a cheap hooker either, cause you know there is no Frebreeze saturated fabric making sure no one smells sex. Nor does he ever get caught in his zipper. No road rash, no broken condoms, no poking zipper tab, nothing.
I’m sorry, I was a horny teen. I’m still a horny adult. If I had sex even half as much as those two did, I’d have sticky underwear. I’d have my skirt stuck to my backside or at least a very wet crotch in my jeans. As for the guy…. Sorry. There would have been a zipper bite. There would have been one hell of a condom failure. There would have been a puddle IN his lap, because, well… juices happen. Oh, and his sweaty balls would have made his underwear feel like he’d peed himself and the last drops of cum would have glued things in all the wrong places. Plus, Some One would have noticed. Laughed. Pointed. Snickered. Mentioned it…. “Hey boss… you spill something on your pants?”
Which brings me to another few items… All those condoms and not one failure? Sorry. Don’t believe that one. Two… I’d love to know a man who can come that much and still stay standing, let alone come again that fast. Most guys need at least 30 minutes. Plus, he has more stamina than an Olympic athlete.Yes, it is a story. Fiction. Fantasy. However, it’s much more believable if the guy can’t always get it up, cums too soon on occasion, has a condom break, etc.
This isn’t daring. It isn’t bold. This set of books is simply Harliquin Romances on B vitamins.