Nilla’s Questions

Nilla wrote:

I’ve known you forever, but I don’t remember how we found each other on this side of the slash…So maybe a little question about that…how *did* you discover kink, how did you feel about it as you started the journey, how do you feel about it now–could you ever go back to pure vanilla? Oh and how *did* you figure out that *I* am who I am in both worlds?


Well…How did I discover kink? The Joys of Sex. I have to admit that my husband and I worked through the book and the sequel. It was okay, but well… at that point in time it didn’t do much for me. Did it all, and went back to vanilla. Sort of dark vanilla if you know what I mean. There are these shades that fill in, but never cross the border.

Kink in writing… To be honest, it started with a piece called Vanilla. I’d had dark stories floating around in my brain, but hadn’t figured out how to blend them into my repertoire. I’d been talking with you and writing a few stories, and realized I needed to write a D/s story. So I spoke at length to Wolf and so it began. I’d write, read others work, pick Wolf’s brain and write some more. 

This of course reopened a lot of ‘closed doors’.  Areas where I was unsure. I realized that I had the mindset down pat in writings. Then there was the Silver Cake server. We were in an antique store and there was a pile of silverware. On top was this beautiful cake server with tulips on it. Of course, Wolf picked it up and started making jokes about tulips/two lips and Nilla’s FSCT. It was $2, so we bought it, and my intention was to send it to you. (Nilla)

silverserviceI was getting ready to package it up when Wolf said… “You really need to understand how the whole spanking mindset really works.” This should have sent up red alerts for me. We’d been discussing the oh so subtle D/s relationship that we had. A very mental relationship with gentle physical parts. Wolf was helping me heal from a relationship that had been abusive. Of course, I was a smart mouth and said “Oh yeah?”

That was when I got my first spanking. After the pain and indignation, I realized that um… I liked it. We never sent the SCT, as it became my FSCT. Wolf likes to make tulip prints on my ass. Since then we have played. Sometimes not as much as I’d like, but then… life happens. Also, Wolf is very good at the mental mind fuck. He can do more with a well said word sometimes than a good spanking. While I never thought of myself as a pain slut, I do lean that way. Spankings, pinches and sometimes a bit of rough sex just do it for me.

Could I go back to vanilla? Not willingly. I like my spankings, my pinches.

As for how I found out about you Nilla? You called me. We were talking on the phone, and you told me about your writings. You were nervous, and once you explained, I laughed and said cool and where is your blog?!!! In fact, you are partially responsible for this blog. 🙂 (nearly all 4 years of it.)

Any other questions?


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