Battle of the Unicorn Jedi’s

The names have been changed to protect the guilty. 🙂 Or, as wolf says… “Anything you do, Can and Will be incorporated into a story. Wordwytch collects ideas like other people do comics.” 



Ellen and Linn were walking down the mall when the Spencer’s sign caught their eye. “I haven’t been in one of those shops in ages.”

“Neither have I Linn. Want to?” Ellen smiled. They’d been having a crazy fun weekend. After the tension of college finals, they’d headed off to the nearest big city to let off steam. Sleep deprivation was high on the list of dangerous behavior as well as too much Monster energy drink.

“Yeah, let’s.”

The two of them walked into the store. They looked through the tee shirts, giggled at the various coasters, magnets and other collectibles and then headed for the “Naughty” section. Vibrators, dildos, eggs, strap ons, cuffs and other items were on the shelves.

“Oh damn! I’d forgotten how open they were in here.” Ellen was blushing pink.

“I don’t see why, Ellen. You’ve had your own vibrator for what? Three years? Four?”

“Four.” Her face went redder.

“Well, geeze! At least you have one. If I bought one and my mom found it, she’d have a cow.”

The visual of that made both of them laugh. They looked at the items, and Ellen walked back over to the strap on that was out of it’s box. Black straps and a bright red dildo. Next to it was a blue one.

“You know what these remind me of?”


“Light sabers.”

“Ellen, you are such a geek.”

“No, really. Think about it.”

Linn started giggling. “I can’t see Darth Vader or Luke swinging their hips around and fighting. ‘Oh Luke! I am your Father!’ and then watching the whole saber grow into this 4 foot cock that glows in the dark.”

That made both women laugh out loud. The store manager looked their direction and then ignored them.

Ellen’s face took on a look that Linn knew spelled trouble. She picked up the one harness and put it on her head. The dildo was placed so that it ‘grew’ out of her forehead. Then she handed the other one to Linn. “Unicorn Dildo Jedis?”

Linn smiled and put her’s on. Once they stopped giggling, they began to joust. They made zzzuub and crack noises as the dildo’s connected. Oblivious to their surroundings, they never heard the manager walk up behind them.

“Stop this right now!”

Linn and Ellen turned, looked and giggled. The manager was bright red in the face, and was standing there wringing his hands. “Sure. Fine,” they said at the same time.

The manager walked off and they quietly went back to battling. What they didn’t see was the manager hitting the alarm button which would call security. Two minutes later, two big mall cops walked in.

“Ladies, we need you to stop. Now.”

Ellen and Linn stopped. Blushed. They took off the strap ons and put them back on the shelves. As they started to leave, one of the cops took Ellen by the arm.

“I’m sorry, but you have to come with us to the security office.”

“Why? We stopped.” Ellen tried to pull her arm out of his grasp.

“We have some paperwork to fill out. The manager complained, and he is pressing charges.”

Ellen and Linn looked at each other, panic racing across their faces. “Um… but we were just playing around.”

“He ordered you to stop, and you didn’t. Come with us.”

Ellen and Linn followed the mall cops to the security office. Once there, they filled out forms and had their pictures taken. The taller of the two cops gave them a copy of the paperwork. “You are banned from this mall for a full year. If you return before then, you’ll be arrested. Do you understand?”



The mall cop nodded and picked up an envelop. “We’ll escort you to the door.” He stood and the four of them left the office. At the entrance of the mall, he turned to Ellen. “Keep in mind that we keep photos and videos for a full year. This is your copy.” He handed Ellen an envelope with a disk in it. He and his fellow cop turned and walked away.

Ellen looked down at the writing on the disk. “Battle of the Unicorn Jedi’s” She and Linn laughed all the way to the car.

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