“Look what I found!” Jeff hollered.
George and David looked up to see Jeff holding the hand of a naked, mud covered woman. Her hair was tangled in dreads and her brown eyes were wild with fear.
“Sure is pretty, even covered in mud.” said George.
“She hasn’t said a word I can understand,” Jeff offered.
“Parle Vous?” Sprechen Sie Deutche? Abla Espanol?” David asked.
The woman blinked. “Da, šupak, ali ja neću razgovarati s tobom! ”
David blinked. “I didn’t understand a word you said.”
“Čudim se čak može govoriti, vas dvoje nogu magarac!”
“She sounds mighty upset.”
“Yeah George. She hit me when I tried to feel her breasts.” Jeff pointed to a muddy handprint on his face. The guys laughed. The woman moved back towards the rock and away from the men.
“Oh come on now honey, give us a little sugar and we’ll take good care of you.” David motioned towards the woman.
“Pao sam s splav na rijeci. Uzmi me natrag!” She gestured towards the way she and the one man had come and stomped her foot.
“You think she’s trying to tell us something?” asked George.
“I don’t know. Sure is upset for someone I saved.” said Jeff.
“Maybe she don’t think she’s been saved. Maybe she thinks she’s been kidnapped.”
The three men thought about that. They looked at each other a little sheepishly, and nodded.
“Jeff, maybe we should take her back to where you found her,” said David.
Jeff nodded. The four of them headed back to the river. When they got there, there was a group of muddy river rafters. She ran towards them.
“Jeste li dobro?”
“Da. Crvenokosa tamo mislio da bih našao ljubavnika divlja životinja.”
“Moja supruga, šupčino!” the man said as he punched Jeff and walked away.
Somewhere, there is a much longer story. 🙂 So, I gave this one a twist. Translation of what she is saying is down below. Ah, how I love Google Translate. And that addiction is all your fault Advizor! The language is Croatian.
Where did she come from? Advizor asked. Our challenge this week is:
Key Words: Wild, Found, Saved (use all three)
Word Limit: 300
Forbidden Words: Dirty
Bonus Words: Let her speak, but it’s not going to be understood
Extra Credit: When was the last time you played outside?
As for the last time I played outside? Way too long ago!
Da, šupak, ali ja neću razgovarati s tobom! (Yes, asshole, but I’m not going to talk to you!”)
Čudim se čak može govoriti, vas dvoje nogu magarac! (I’m amazed you can even speak, you two legged donkey!)
Pao sam s splav na rijeci. Uzmi me natrag! (I fell off a raft on the river. Take me back!)
Jeste li dobro? (Are you alright?)
“Da. Crvenokosa tamo mislio da bih našao ljubavnika divlja životinja.” (“Yes. The redhead there thought he’d found himself a wild animal lover.”)
Moja supruga, šupčino! (My wife, asshole.)