She tossed and turned. Finally in an effort to cool off, she got up and opened the bedroom door. Then she laid down on top of the covers.
“No. Too hot. Too stuffy.”
He rolled over and wrapped her in his arms. “It will be okay.”
“I know, it’s just…” She began to shake, and the tears rolled down her cheek.
“Just not our house.”
He held her gently, letting his hand caress her hip, waist and just the edge of her breasts. It wasn’t about sex, but comfort. Familiarity. He moved his leg over hers, pinning her to the bed. Pulling her close, he could feel every shudder, breath, and sob. He also knew that all he could do was hold her as they fell asleep.
That morning, she’d cried in the shower. He pretended not to hear her. To give her enough space, enough privacy. The morning had been busy, and things kept them occupied with meetings, errands and lunch. After lunch, they’d had to pull items out of the storage locker, and that is when the tears began to roll.
“I can take you back to the house if you want.”
“No. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult.”
“Sweetie, if it upsets you, I can do this by myself.”
She wiped her eyes. “No, I need to cry, and if I don’t find the stuff, it won’t happen. It’s… just so hard to…”
He hugged her and nodded. It was rough on him to see so much of their life stuffed away. She knew where almost everything in the 200 sq.ft unit was, and understood how it had been tucked in like a warped game of Tetris. They loaded up the stuff they’d pulled out and closed the unit. By the time they got back to the house, her tears were dry.
He thought about things as he grilled sausages for dinner. Privacy and intimacy had become rare visitors. Too many people, too much to do and now the pain of waiting once more for a place of their own. He’d had his own moments of despair of late as well. He used schedules, lists and routine to try and move things back to some sort of normal. The best part of the evening had been when they’d walked around outside, watering the garden. It was the closest to normal they’d had in over a month.
He rolled over in the middle of the night, and she turned with him. Cuddled up to his back, he could feel her breath tickle his back. Her arm curled around him and he fell back asleep with thoughts of normality drifting through his dreams.